Sunday, April 17, 2016

Namaste, Salmon. Namaste.

A little while back, we had dinner at one of our favorite cafes. They serve an Americana style menu with a little French flair. The atmosphere is one of a French bistro – warm wood interior with tall tables and hidden booths. The patio is cobblestone with two and four tops at the intersection of a charming corner of the city.
The food has always been first rate. 

I am a little concerned over the health of the ranchers, what with their lack of antibiotics. Although I applaud their refusal to use hormones; unless they are menopausal. At that point, anything goes.
It does feel a little neglectful to let those poor cows wander aimlessly throughout the Midwest. There are a lot of grasses available but from the smell of my last train ride, not all of those grasses are legal.
All we need round these parts are a bunch of sky-high bovines with the munchies running rampant through St. Louis.

Now don't get me wrong.
I enjoy a nice cut of beef. And I have discovered that there is actually a difference between grass-fed and grain-fed steak.
Usually it's about three dollars more a pound.

And then there was the Salmon Feature...
Once we ascertained that this was, in fact, a menu item and NOT a growth on one of the waiters...


This raises so many more questions than it answers.
What sort of foods 'meant for human consumption' are we talking about here?
Where do these foods come from?
Are there tiny Irish fishes stealing food from fishermen kitchens?
Does that mean that Irish fishermen are starving in order to provide me with salmon?
Sour Patch Kids are meant for human consumption. I think it might violate several animal rights treaties, feeding these to any fish, let alone salmon.

And who does the hand feeding? That sounds super tedious.
Unless they have giant food dispensers dispensing fruits and vegetables and bits of meat into the hands of tiny Irish school children on field trips. Because then it would be awesome.

And if that ocean pen is 99.5% water...what is the other .5%?
Given as it's Ireland I am assuming it is beer. Which might actually be pretty tasty.

I don't even want to think about the net cleaning process. Except to say I hope they use fluoride netpaste. It would be cruel to have a bunch of school children trying to hand feed salmon snack cakes only to find the fishes teeth have fallen out due to lack of fluoride.

In the end, I was not sure if I should order the Salmon or adopt it.
I eventually ordered the quiche.

Friday, April 15, 2016

It's M day. What did you expect?

Letter 'M' is the letter of the day.
For those of you who know me in the three dimensional world I am maintaining your expectations – This post is about 'Margaritaville'.

(Those of you who have never met me in 3D probably could have guessed this.)
(I also feel I need to point out that it took me no less than six tries to type the word 'dimensional'. For some reason it kept coming out 'dement-ial'. Really not much of a leap either, I suppose.)

Anyway.
Back to the task at hand.

We are here today to dissect that iconic lifestyle song Margaritaville.
Let's have a listen:


So, in the first verse we are introduced to a fellow who is semi-despondent, sitting on his porch eating what one can only assume is very dry, stale cake watching a mass of sweaty people wander around. Sure, he is playing a little guitar and waiting for some delicious shrimp, but in the refrain we learn he will be eating those crustaceans on his own as he has clearly alienated yet another woman. AND he can't even find the appropriate seasoning for his shrimp.

As we move on to the second verse we discover the man to be completely directionless and experiencing moments of complete black-out. How else could he possibly wind up with a tattoo? Although in the refrain he is beginning to come around to the fact that he, himself might actually be responsible for his current state of lassitude. And his dependency on salt is worrisome in a hypertension causing manner.

In the third and final verse the man has now ruined a perfectly good pair of shoes, doing God knows what, and injured himself in the process. He clearly has a problem with alcohol. And he still can't find his salt shaker. Seriously? How hard is it to put the damn salt shaker back in the cabinet? If you had put it there in the first place maybe you wouldn't always be griping that you can't find it...

But then he does, at last, accept full responsibility for his situation.

And that is the beauty of this song. The song that has inspired not only restaurants, resorts and merchandise out the wazoo.
It has inspired a lifestyle. I am not talking about a life where you numb yourself with booze and complain. I am talking about a life where you find something, no matter how tiny, to be happy about. And when you grasp that tiny shred of pleasure, I think you will find that it is just like grains of sand on a sweaty, Coppertone coated tourist, more and more tiny shreds will stick to you until you are living your happiest life.
Because in the end, no matter what, you need to own your life.
And when you look at it from that perspective, the song is actually quite happy.

Or, in the words of another wise man – "You'll be happy. You just won't know it." ~ Alec Baldwin to Kevin Bacon in She's Having a Baby by John Hughes.

Be happy my friends.
See you in Margaritaville! 
Me and some of my favorite people at 'Margaritaville' - yes, that is a boat sail in the back of the pick-up. How else do you wind up on the Jumbo-tron?
 -I am deviating slightly from the A-Z challenge and posting my Saturday installment on Sunday. This is related to work issues. And I haven't written it yet. And there may be a lunch date...

Thursday, April 14, 2016

The 'L' Word

Today's post is brought to you by the letter 'L'.

'L' is for Lackadaisical: a complete and utter lacking of daisies; attempting the completion of a task with little to no conviction. See also: Whatevs.

Sorry. 
But doesn't that 'L' word look pretty in purple?
Really had a plan for today. You would think I could have worked ahead, what with the 26 point outline learned in kindergarten but I was run over by the proverbial steamroller yesterday at work and then OH LOOK!!! 
 A Squirrel!!


Come back tomorrow when the A to Z Challenge will be brought to you by the letter 'M' for Motivation.
Probably.
Maybe.
I'm feeling rather, oh, I don't know....I'm sure there's a word for it...
Whatevs.


Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Kale and Other Semi-Living Things

Every year at this time, I get the wild idea that I want to change my name to Trellis and grow all my own food.

Not an easy task as our backyard is a quarter acre of shade.

And I really like beef.

can you spot the Kale?
Last year Rob gave in to my request and built a raised garden bed – 4x8. I promptly over planted it according to the diagrams from every document I could find on-line having to do with square foot gardening.

Even though the garden looked like a small tribe of very small monkeys was living in it, we did manage several harvests of leaf lettuce, kale and spinach. We had about 2 dozen radishes, 20 of the tiniest carrots you have ever seen and enough jalapeƱo peppers to burn my eyes for a week to ten days. There were also some reluctant grape tomatoes, one tiny eggplant and about one thousand zucchini.

From left to right, front to back: Kale, Spinach, Lettuce, Radish, Carrot. The trellis are holding spots for later over planting.
I believe I have failed to mention that normally, and last year was no exception, that while I am super gun-ho to have a garden, I am also super procrastinative to actually work in it. I don't believe anything was planted until the middle or end of May.

Plus, I have a very strict gardening weather policy. Once the temperature and/or humidity hit 80 all gardening tasks are turned over to the Miracle of Grow. I supervise from the deck, on occasion I will wander around with an umbrella drink and pull a sacrificial weed or comment on how great it will be to have some FRESH tomatoes. 
 

I am not sure what happened this year. I must be craving some Vitamin D. It's not even the middle of April and I have cleaned up and planted the herb beds and started the raised vegetable garden. 
Rosemary, thyme, cilantro (both seeds and plants) chives and oregano. Basil seeds in the center. Catnip by the sundial. Day lilies line the back. The AC unit is at its most attractive in July and August.
No Kale here.

Iris and day lilies border front and back. Parsley - both flat and curly, plant and seed - sage, lavender and seeds for tarragon and dill.
Nope, not here either. 
This is my vineyard.
 Last year we almost scored one bunch of grapes.
SQ-earl got it first.
I attempt to follow the Almanac-ain Wisdom which warns against the fool hardiness of planting anything but lettuce and some herbs until after Mother's Day. Only a damn fool would put tropical plants outside. (It says that very phrase. Right on page 348.)

I had to make the tough call with my palm trees. They were looking pretty rough from lack of actual sunlight in my kitchen and dining room so I moved them to the deck where it promptly went to freezing every night for the past week.
Robert Palm Tree looking a little...bent. Beach towels are providing a hopeful insulation.

Alicia Trees lost all but one of her leaves on the right hand stalk.  I may have to fashion her a wig.

Please keep them in your prayers.


Okay. This may have been a stretch for the letter 'K' in the A-Z challenge. But honestly, do we need yet another blog extolling the virtues of Kale?




Tuesday, April 12, 2016

JIffy Pop

Jiffy Pop.
As much fun to make as it is to eat

Look at this happy family. There are no flames. 

Ha!
The last time I attempted to make Jiffy Pop was as a last ditch effort to show our kids a good time.
It was their first trip to Colorado. Summer vacation. We were staying in a cabin in the Sangre de Cristo mountains.
Train ride up Pike's Peak.
Hiking.
A bear living in the woods that eats cats and may or may not be outside the kids bedroom window.
In a cabin about two hours southwest of Pueblo, through a mountain pass.
A rustic cabin.
And by rustic I mean a tin shower.
And no television...
Thankfully, this was long before wifi. I don't want to think what would have happened...
Anyway.
We pulled out all the 'Awesome! Just like the settlers!' and 'Think how good this experience will be for your Oregon Trail game!'
So on a resupply trip to town, I picked up a package of Jiffy Pop.
The kids were moderately excited to see just how the foil lid would inflate.
And we started out pretty strong.
There was laughter as everyone took a turn shaking the metal handled pan over the flame of the stove, until the handle got hot.
Then it was all me.
There was a cheer as the first three kernels exploded in the pan and a tiny hit of steam began to seep from the tiny vent hole on the top of the origami foil lid. A few more kernels popped and the foil began to unfold and puff.
I shook the pan gently. Then a tiny bit more vigorously, waiting for more pops.
As a charcoal smell began to waft from the tiny vent hole I shook the pan like a 8.0 quake hitting the San Andrea Fault.

Ten minutes in and the foil lid had only managed to unfold three pleats.
Surprisingly, the kids became more interested.
Turns out they had side bets on when the flames would start.
Which was about five seconds before I tossed the pan into the sink...

I have NEVER attempted Jiffy Pop again.
Which makes me sad.
Popcorn was the go-to snack when I was growing up. We even grew our own popcorn one summer! My mom would pop huge grocery bags of popcorn for us to snack on when we went to the drive-in.
And now and then, we would get to try Jiffy Pop.
I don't EVER remember flames...

**Clearly, this has not been a paid endorsement for Jiffy Pop. However, should the Jiffy Pop people see this, I am willing to attempt your product one more time. But only because we now have a fire captain within our fold of friends.

I am getting close to halfway through the A-Z alphabet challenge and I must admit. I spent a good deal of time this weekend trying to work ahead on some pieces.
The result has been a tablet which is laying on the kitchen table, still, with letters of the alphabet listed down the left side and a random list of words assigned to their corresponding letters. Most of these are courtesy of my husband. To my surprise, his suggestions are all pretty...normal.
Except for 'Q'. Trust me, Wednesday, April 20 is going to be a frightening look into my soul.
You have been warned.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Island...Tales of the Caribean

Time for 'I'.
And of course, 'I' must be Island.
Which means it's time for another Tale of the Caribbean...Island...

Most people experience the Caribbean on a cruise or an all-inclusive resort. Rob and I have never done anything the easy way.
 
Our destination on the first trip to the Caribbean was Tortola in the British Virgin Islands. The trip included in a small condo where we could cook breakfast and probably lunch or dinner each day, with a plan to rent a car to explore the island. Never mind that they drive American cars (steering wheel on the left) on the opposite side of the road from what we are accustomed.

That particular detail of the trip was parked after the open-air taxi ride to the rental place- on the WRONG side of the road, which was barely two lane in places and shouldered on one side by steep walls of dirt and vegetation and shouldered on the other by the ocean.
Literally.
Ocean spray would on occasion splash the front window and the passenger on the water side should you be in an open-air vehicle. 
This is an oil tanker. Taken from the passenger window as we sped 50kph around the island.

Oh, and the rental place was closed on Sunday afternoon.
As our drive said, "Welcome to the Caribbean!" He graciously drove us the rest of the way to our condo at Fort Recovery.
Now you would assume, being a taxi, that there would be no hesitation. However, Fort Recovery sits near the West end of the island which means chances of a fair back to the airport was slightly slim.
We figured out the nuances of cabs quickly.
As foreign cell phones can get sketchy coverage on the island, Fort Recovery provides local cell phones with around $5 worth of minutes available, renewable in the office. The phone is loaded with about two dozen taxi services. It took three calls to arrange a cab – the service on the West end really didn't want to drive all the way to the East end. The East end didn't really want to come West. The third dispatcher I spoke too, at a different number but sounding suspiciously like the first dispatcher I spoke with, finally agreed to send a car.
I got the distinct feeling these services are family run. More than once we were picked up in unmarked sedans.
Sounds safe, right?
Actually, it couldn't have been nicer.
Every driver, with the exception of one, was pleasant and helpful and told us all about the beautiful island. Even the cranky one warmed up when we asked his favorite local place for dinner – Fish and Lime at Soper's Hole.
Sunset at Fish and Lime. More on this in another post.
He was right – dinner was inexpensive and delicious.
Good thing. The taxi rides averaged around $20 - $30 one way.

Which brings me to the original idea of this story.

We have stayed in several condos on other vacations. They are economical, given that a kitchen – no matter how small – offers the opportunity to save money on meals. I generally plan to cook breakfast and stock the fridge with a fruit plate, veggie plate and some lunch meat from the local grocery. My vacation pantry includes coffee, tea, crackers, chips and something sweet.
Exactly how I intended to stock our kitchen in Tortola.
Our tiny, but well equipped kitchen. Of course the stove is on the WRONG side of the kitchen.
This was before I began to take an actual interest in island life. Had I read even one article on cooking on a sailboat I would have realized that grocery shopping on an island is...different.

Road Town, the largest town on Tortola, offers a couple of actual grocery stores.
Of course this would have meant another taxi ride to and from.
The kind folks at Fort Recovery told us there was a small grocery just down the road, about half a mile. Well within walking distance.
So we figured, on our first afternoon on the island, what better way to discover our new neighborhood than to walk to the store...on that narrow, two-lane road where everyone insists on driving on the WRONG side.
Or perhaps we were WALKING on the wrong side.
Either way, I never did get use to hearing a car approach only to be facing the approaching vehicle rather than having it come up from behind. We side stepped several times into driveways, dirt paths and once an honest to goodness palm tree jungle. 
You thought I was kidding, didn't you.
But as death defying walks go, it couldn't have been prettier or more interesting.
We listened to children at a day school singing songs.
We spied into the courtyard of a lovely, albeit forgotten, home. 
part of the gate


 
so inviting
And then we arrived at the grocery...
Or more specifically, the Tortola version of a QT.
Part gas station, part cell phone provider, part grocer.
All neighborhood hang-out.
Yes Big Ben. You are indeed a Super-ette!!
I could not have felt more like an outsider that Sunday afternoon as we wandered cautiously onto the parking lot. A couple of men sat on the concrete steps talking, a dog at their feet. A family, I assumed heading home from church, were piling back into their car. Each child with a treat in hand.

The interior of the small store felt a little more familiar. Dry goods on shelves. Produce in an open cooler at the back. A large freezer in the other corner.
There were a few familiar brands – Coke, Pepsi, Oreo, Campbells. But most everything had a slightly exotic tweak. The carrots were the size of watermelons. The juice and milk were un-refridgerated in vacuum sealed cartons.
And the meat?
All unlabeled and frozen.
And Unlabeled...

I was very cautious on our first trip to Big Ben's. I was also slightly travel shocked. We had to carry our purchases back to the condo and we didn't want to waste money or supplies so we tried to buy things that could do double duty. It seems like we wound up with some juice, a couple of apples, some lemons and limes, a zucchini, a 6-pack of soda, a bag of coffee, a stick of butter and a rice pilaf kit. And some sort of fish.
I am still not sure what sort, I think it may have been a red snapper. Given that whole 'unlabeled' issue I really just guessed according to color, thickness and smell. Or in this case, lack there of.
I also grabbed a package of locally baked raisin buns at the checkout.
The buns were great for breakfast, sliced and slightly toasted in a skillet with some melted butter.
The fish, sauteed in butter with salt and pepper and a little lemon tasted quite exotic.

As it turns out, unlabeled meat became a fun challenge.
By our last trip to the market, I was a pro at rummaging through the freezer. Tossing aside boring chicken and what looked to be pork, or goat, to score the coveted 'some sort of beef'.
Turns out it was a skirt steak.
And it was delicious, not just because of the Caribbean pepper blend sprinkled on top or the lime juice marinate.
It was most delicious because the clerk recognized us as the goofy couple who held a guessing game outside the meat freezer and debated over which ice cream treat to eat on the walk home. And she greeted us that day with a familiar 'hello'.

(Visiting local markets is one of my absolute favorite things to do when traveling – whether it is the SafeCo in Colorado, the Piggly Wiggly in Florida or the Mexican Walmart in Cabo. Big Ben's was my most challenging to date. And so worth the push past my comfort zone. Which is really the point of travel, in my opinion. As always, come back again. There will be many more Tales from the Caribbean.) 

For more info on Fort Recovery click here: http://fortrecoverytortola.com/
For more info on Fish and Lime click here: http://fishnlime.com/index-1.html
And Soper's Hole: http://www.b-v-i.com/sopers.htm
 
This post is part of the A-Z blogging challenge, where Monday -Saturday in April is dedicated to running the alphabet, using each day's letter as the inspiration. 

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Hemingway. Buttered.

A moment of panic just set in.
I thought I had skipped the letter 'E' of the alphabet challenge. But after several minutes of repeating the alphabet in my head and under my breath, as well as questioning my mental capacity, I found it on my phone and not in my computer files because I wrote 'E' on my phone, on my way to work on the train while it was threatening to rain...
Which brings me to today's letter 'H' for Hemingway.
(Did you get the connection there? The lengthy, run on sentence with a reference to daily activities in bad weather with a constant threat of death? Fine, my train ride is pretty safe, but still.)

I became a fan of Hemingway my Junior year of high school.
Up until then my only exposure was a huge head shot poster of Ernie in a heavy turtleneck sweater staring off into the distance.The poster hung on my first high school American Literature class wall. I vaguely remember that teacher mentioning Hemingway but my biggest take-away from that class was reading The Bridge of San Luis Ray, and the accompanying poster of a bunch of Italians and a bridge on the opposite wall of the Hemingway poster.
Apparently Literature in the 1970's was anchored in graphic arts.

We moved to a much larger high school the end of my Junior year. (By much larger I mean the population of the TOWN I moved from was smaller than my graduating class of the new school.)
I spent four months feeling like the outsider I was, with the exception of art class and American Literature.
Art students are notoriously accepting.

But the American Literature teacher was handsome.
Oh, yeah, and I entered the class as they were just beginning the section on the Hemingway Hero. Nick Adams was a new type of character. He was flawed.
Up to that point my recreational reading was steeped in romantic novels and historical fiction. There were good guys and bad guys but no one was a combination of both.
Until Nick Adams, and by extension Ernest Hemingway.
We read a handful of Nick Adams stories and moved on to A Farewell to Arms and finished with The Sun Also Rises. And by the final day of that semester my thoughts on literature were changed forever.

I re-read The Sun Also Rises during summer break.
And I re-read it every summer after that.
Even though I knew I would be slightly confused by the story.
No matter how many times I read the story Jake and Brett would never make it work.
I tried to figure out why.
I would be angry at Jake. Then Brett.
And each time I read the book a little piece of my own personal philosophy formed.
Although at the time I had no idea.
I was too naive to understand the complexities of the relationships Hemingway described – between the characters and the bull fights or between the characters themselves.

I haven't read The Sun Also Rises in quite a few years. I have read so many more books by and about Hemingway since then. Garden of Eden was my favorite for a while, until A Moveable Feast replaced it. Last summer, under the insistence of my husband, I read A Dangerous Summer – the real accounts of bullfighting in Spain.
I don't agree with the sport but I have to admit, the artistry involved is fascinating.

But it is more than the literature I have fallen in love with.
The lifestyle described in these books – travel, food, drink, friends. It is the life I imagine living.
Who wouldn't want a fresh caught trout roasted over an open flame? Can anything be better than an afternoon at an outside cafe with friends discussing current events, literature and where to get the best cigar. Belmonte is fighting in Pamplona? Hotch has a car? Lets go!

Sure, my life is a little less free-form, what with the full-time job and all. That doesn't stop me from allowing the idea of that lifestyle into my real existence. Not literally. I have never been to a bullfight, nor do I want to go and our group discussions tend to focus more on kids and parents and basketball* (which is pretty much a constant current affair).
It is more an idea.
A feeling.
That anything can be fresh, exciting. And if it has become tired and dull, looking for a new way to make the everyday intriguing again.
Embracing life for what it is.
Fleeting.
And to be relished and savored.
For the good and the bad.

And now we drink..

Because one of my other favorite discoveries is the Hemingway Daiquiri.
And while that recipe is pretty simple I learned a way to make it a little more complicated without ruining the simplicity.

I give you the Browned Butter Hemingway Daiquiri!
while not necessary, these taste so much better in very fragile antique glasses, which I only use for photos
 Browned Butter Rum
2 sticks of butter
2 cups white, dark or a mix of both Rum
Melt the butter in a skillet and let simmer for about 5 minutes until the butter begins to brown.
Remove from the heat and SLOWLY stir in the rum.
Cover and let sit in the fridge for two days.
(preferably in a ceramic bowl. Plastic is okay. NO METAL)
After two days remove from the fridge.
Skim off the top layer of butter solids.
Rum butter!
(sounds gross and delish at the same time)
Strain the rum through a coffee filter or cheesecloth and store in the fridge for up to one week.
my makeshift straining device.
Hemingway Daiquiri

2 ounces brown butter rum
1 ounce simple syrup
1 ounce lime juice
1/4 ounce maraschino liquor
1/4 ounce grapefruit juice
shake over ice
strain into a chilled cocktail glass

Enjoy on the deck as Belmonte regales you with his exploits in the ring and Hotch passes out Cuban cigars.

*This reference is for Craig. Did you see it Craig?
Interested in learning more about Belmonte? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Belmonte
How about A. E. 'Hotch' Hotchner (born and raised in St Louis!): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A._E._Hotchner