It is official. I have an addiction.
Every spring I get the undeniable
desire to plant a garden.
I grew up on a farm.
My parents grew a garden the size of a
city block.
My Dad worked in the farm supply
business. I spent many afternoons surrounded by the heady aroma of
potash and anhydrous.
No wonder meth is so addictive.
I am pretty sure this is the root of my
problem.
Ever since we moved into our house,
nearly 30 years ago, I have had some sort of garden. There have
always been herbs in the tiered beds beside the house. One year we
dug up 2/3rds of the back yard and planted all the vegetables.
Problem is vegetables require sun. Our back yard is all shade.
The only truly sunny patch is the strip
of yard between our house and the neighbor's. One year we hand dug a
garden there with moderate success. But the following year, with the
prospect of re-digging the area...well, let me tell you, if meth-heads
had to cultivate a 10x10 patch of yard, now covered in violets and
creeping charlie, they would think twice about cooking.
This year, thanks to Dad-the enabler,
we decided to try the newest fad in gardening – the RAISED GARDEN
BED!
(Of course, this is not really anything
new. Raised beds have been around forever. In fact, Martha Stewart herself
has a number of them. We have just been too cheap to bother. Because
hand digging a YARD is so much easier.)
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| Just look at the dirt. You could almost bury a body without breaking a sweat. |
I did a little research and settled on
a 4x8 bed, which according to Rob is much easier to construct as the
boards needed are actually 8feet long, thus requiring a minimum
amount of math to cut. Plus this size bed, according to various
container gardening sites, allows me to plant enough vegetables to
feed a family of 4 plus most of the Duggars for a year.
It only cost us approximately $45 for
the lumbar that should be 'lumber' (it seems I have been working the back surgery recovery a little too much!) and weed retardant under-cloth. But no worries, I can
spend that much on vegetable in a month.
Of course, filling the frame is it's own project. You can fill it with plain old dirt but seriously? I live in the land of clay. Digging clay is similar to stabbing a shovel into a bucket of concrete. I have watched a fair share of Martha
Stewart and her gardens are never difficult to dig. In fact, with one
delicate gloved hand she dips her trowel into the rich black dirt and
in the next two minute segment has planted an entire row of heirloom
butternut squash. So...we bought fancy dirt with fertilizer. And topsoil. And peat moss. I could bury Martha Stewart in the bed with my bare hands that soil is so light and fluffy. (But I won't. I love Martha. Please don't put me on a list.)
The dirt was another $80. So, that's
another two months of veggies. I break even this summer and next year
I will actually be MAKING money off this bad boy.
Of course, this does not take into
account the money I will spend on seeds for the 47 varieties of
vegetables I plan to plant.
Or the plants I buy when I get too antsy
waiting for the seeds to sprout.
But, think about all those fresh
vegetables, warm off the vine and straight to my table...Take THAT
you locavores.
The raised bed only took about an hour
to construct. (It took three hours to purchase. At Lowes. On the
nicest Saturday in April thus far.) And with all the extra time, and
a little left over dirt, I did the prep work on the herb beds. And
weeded the shade garden.
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| Imagine this filled with flowering plants, ferns, hostas... |
The shade garden is my white whale. I
have been in this house forever and finally, FINALLY, have the super
shady side of our yard almost looking like a lovely, shaded
fairy-friendly landscape. Except for the grass. Which does not grow
in shade. Unless it is in the GARDEN part of the yard. Then grass
grows like crazy. Just like those damn violets.
There has been much research done on
plant's ability to communicate with one another. I am here to tell
you, this ability exists. And those conniving little violet bastards
are experts at telling each other where to sprout because the nice
lady sometimes lets one of their adorable brethren bloom in the shade
garden.
 |
| Sometimes in my sleep, I can hear them laughing... |
It only took another three hours but I
got them all.
Hah!
Which is the reason I am writing this
sitting on the couch with my feet up, in my pajamas, floating on a
fine cloud of ibuprofen, tylenol and a small rum drink.
Which adds another $30 to the price of
the garden.
Which translates to 6 organic,
heirloom, single source zucchini.
So anyway you look at it, I win!
