Monday, May 1, 2023

You Never Know

Well, hello!

Been awhile…

About seven years ago, while walking the three blocks to my car I noticed no less than six hairnets, drifting along the gutter and cowering next to buildings. 

After mentioning this on facebook and to friends at work, people started telling me about their own hairnet sightings which quickly devolved into text message photos at all hours of the day.

As a result, this blog was born in an attempt to help more people recognize the absurdities all around us. 

The stories revolved around hairnets and random thoughts with occasional travel logs and adventures in sailing. 

Then, the world itself became so absurd that my random observations on ill fitting undergarments and rogue squirrels felt irrelevant. I attempted updates here and there but my heart just wasn’t in it. I settled into a routine of working in protective gear and reading on the deck. 

PS- the middle of a pandemic is NOT the time to finally read The Stand by Stephen King…

I haven’t really noticed many hairnets hanging around lately, but, on my way along the three block, now covered, indoor walkway I saw someone’s abandoned Invisiline mouth appliance lying on the carpet. 

Just the appliance. 

No protective denture case.

Not even a zip lock baggie. 

It was as if the wearer just couldn’t take it any longer and gave it a mighty patooie.

I mean, how else could it end up unprotected, lying on a well traveled walkway? 

Was the bag so tightly packed that upon reaching in and retrieving some important piece of purse stuff the appliance, which should have been in the mouth, went zinging unnoticed?

Was the cell phone conversation so intense that it literally caused the owner to ‘lose it’? 

Was it so invisible that its owner didn’t see it?

I’ll never know. 

In fact, I was so invested in trying to think up possible scenarios in which something in my mouth could exit without notice that it didn’t even occur to me to take a photo. 

(I suppose I should say, ‘You’re Welcome’ here. Because personally, the last thing I want to see is ANYTHING which should be in someone’s mouth. This includes and is not limited to braces, rubber bands,  invisiline appliances and teeth - real, baby, false or precious metal.)

This episode took place a couple months ago. I still couldn’t quite get my thoughts on paper. 

Until two weeks ago when my husband and I went to dinner and got trapped in the middle of a tornado warning just after our entrees were delivered. 

It was clear that the weather was too dangerous to leave and let’s face it, our meals were too delicious to abandon. 

We moved away from the plate glass windows, assured ourselves that the interior bathroom was large enough to hold the dozen other diners comfortably, ordered another glass of wine and settled in for what turned out to be a very entertaining evening of weather watching. 

I love a good wine glass picture
I love a good wine glass picture

Let it be noted that I am not trying to downplay the impact of severe weather. I completely understand how bad these spring storms have been. Several tornadoes touched down only miles from our home, with one being sighted about a quarter mile from our daughter’s home.

This was the view from my sister's house, about three miles from me. 

But let’s face it. If you are in a relatively safe space and it would be more dangerous to drive with or into the storm, you might as well make the best of it. 

Once the storm passed, we made a dash to the car and as we made our way down the street I saw a sign. 


This sign. 

Me, in sign form.

A poor guy, riding along, working on cardio, saving the planet on his bike when BAM! He hits a surprise storm drain and goes flying. 

This sign totally gets my philosophy on so many levels. 

Always be aware of the things around you. You never know when you might see that storm drain waiting to break your leg or Spiderman trying to get a drink…

Spiderman, keeping his attitude at the door at the Broadway Oyster Bar

Until next time....

A little promo here - I am giving Write 30 days in May to help raise money for the American Cancer Society. If you would like to donate you can find my fundraising page here: