Thursday, June 30, 2016

That's Right. Fifty-Five

To the tune of that Sammy Hagar classic...
I Can't Be Fifty-Five

One foot in the shoe, the heel is high

Clerk shoots me a look, 'you're too old, don't try.'

She brings out a flat. Ain't no sexy shoe!

These Millennials gettin' all in my face again....

Take your AARP card!

Your damn Spanx too!

I'm goin' sleeveless

with no face primer too!

In my heart I'm not dead, I'm ALIVE!

I can't be FIFTY-FIVE!!

Can't go to clubs, music starts too late.

I'm jammied, sippin' cab by quarter to eight.

My twenty-five year old soul still wants to dance

Hip joints say 'NO! You had your chance!'

I cry, VOGUE!!

Take your AARP card!

Your damn Spanx too!

I'm goin' sleeveless

with no face primer too!

In my heart I'm not dead, I'm ALIVE!

I can't be FIFTY-FIVE!!

If you haven't figured it out, today is my birthday.

I am having absolutely no issues with my age.

My only regret is I have no videographer...

My apologies to Sammy Hagar.

Love you, man.

Here's the real thing, in case you haven't heard...

And please, AARP and Spanx – you are both lovely corporations.
You just happened to work here.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

I'm On Vacation. Don't Hate Me

Welcome to my summer vacation.
I fully intend to do some new writing over the next eleven days off...okay, more like eight days now. I have pictures from a local small boat messabout. I have thoughts swimming in my head regarding my upcoming birthday. I am notes for a short story.
I promise you, there will be new and original posts upcoming. 
But today, I must make a traditional family snack to take to a swim party, and when my daughter found out I was making this particular treat she asked in her tiny four year old girl voice, "can I get some of those....?" 
This particular snack is not one handed down from my German forefathers. But it is my contribution to my family's handful of iconic foods. Right up there with my Mom's fried chicken and French Cookies, German Grandma's Springerlies and French Grandma's pies. I found the recipe in Seventeen Magazine when I was around 14 years old. Which means I have been making them for forty years. 
Wow. I could have gone a long time without doing that math. 
But, I digress.
So, without further ado...

It's Scroodle Time!

What follows is the original post I wrote in 2012 on Scroodles. 

 Suck It Dr. Atkins!

So, not only am I devoted to getting people to see the weird and interesting in their everyday life. I am also dedicated to getting people to eat the weird and interesting as well. Food, that is, not people. Calm down, that's not what I meant either, this is not THAT sort of site...

Anyway... I have always been an adventurous eater and have happily raised a family of the same. We were enjoying hummus WAY before it was hip. Which leads me to the introduction of one of our favorite snacks: Scroodles.

These are boiled then fried corkscrew macaroni. That's right. Boiled. Then fried. And then liberally doused with garlic salt. The trifecta of dietary no-no's. Totally white flour CARBS – fried in CRISCO – the covered with SALT.


its like my arteries on a really hot day...

Oh, and Sorry about the Suck It, Dr. Atkins. That was really just an attention getting ploy. I am sure Dr. Atkins was a wonderfully delightful person, who before he became all Anti-Carb would have enjoyed Scroodles. God Rest His Soul.

Scroodles. Or, the crap they pull of out or your arteries.

PS - didn't Dr. Atkins actually die of a heart attack? Perhaps if he had re-examined the joy of deep fat fried noodles... 

As a note - I recently made these with Brown Rice Noodles, because that's what I happened to have in the house. Not only were they even better than the plain noodles, they have the added benefit of being GLUTEN FREE! 
Ha! Take that diet!!

Friday, June 3, 2016

Middle Age Couple checks out a Fixer Upper

They say if it flies or floats, then rent don't own.
We have never been ones to follow proverbs...

We spent part of a long weekend checking out a slightly larger sailboat to add to our fleet. So while Rob looked into things like rail stability, fiberglass integrity and the KEEL, I examined the boat in the manner expected by society. 
Welcome to this episode of House Hunters Boat Edition!

Not a whole lot of outside space. But the retro-rudder is pretty cool.

A stainless steel sink! But no granite counter tops. And seriously, since all couples are expected to spend an inordinate amount of time chopping random vegetables, how can Rob cut peppers and me thread kabobs in such a tiny space.

A ton of natural light! The master is a workable size and there is a spare bedroom, in the foreground, for guests. I am just not sold on how much privacy that fold up table would provide. 
Does it come furnished? Because those life vests and extra sails are a bonus and well within our budget.

Um. Steam shower? Soaker tub? Door?? No.
But, semi-composting toilet.
Do I look like a damn hippie?

We have gone back and forth for MONTHS about this boat. It would be fun to have a 'second house' at the lake. This is a trailer-able boat, so we could feasibly move  it to the ocean one day. Of course it would also mean for the next year, nearly every weekend spent at the lake would involve some serious elbow grease and a moderate amount of cash.
It was fun to consider the possibilities. The boat  is old and absolutely a fixer-upper but not in terrible shape. However,  I don't really see Chip and Joanna coming up from Waco, or those weird property brothers...even though we could do most of the work ourselves.
 While we were investigating this boat, a very nice older man came down on the dock, no doubt to investigate us. While we discussed the merits of 22 foot versus 25 foot catalinas, he mentioned his own boat which was docked right next door and over the course of that conversation we wound up spending the entire afternoon on HIS boat, dipping the rail in the water while he gave us tips on racing.
In the end, we have put the purchase on hold. Opting instead to rent when we want to 'entertain' friends...
Because while it may be easier to make friends out of sailors than sailors out of friends, on a super windy May day there is no problem turning those same friends into ballast!