Thursday, June 30, 2016

That's Right. Fifty-Five

To the tune of that Sammy Hagar classic...
I Can't Be Fifty-Five



One foot in the shoe, the heel is high

Clerk shoots me a look, 'you're too old, don't try.'

She brings out a flat. Ain't no sexy shoe!

These Millennials gettin' all in my face again....



Take your AARP card!

Your damn Spanx too!

I'm goin' sleeveless

with no face primer too!

In my heart I'm not dead, I'm ALIVE!

I can't be FIFTY-FIVE!!



Can't go to clubs, music starts too late.

I'm jammied, sippin' cab by quarter to eight.

My twenty-five year old soul still wants to dance

Hip joints say 'NO! You had your chance!'



I cry, VOGUE!!



Take your AARP card!

Your damn Spanx too!

I'm goin' sleeveless

with no face primer too!

In my heart I'm not dead, I'm ALIVE!

I can't be FIFTY-FIVE!!



If you haven't figured it out, today is my birthday.

I am having absolutely no issues with my age.

My only regret is I have no videographer...



My apologies to Sammy Hagar.

Love you, man.

Here's the real thing, in case you haven't heard...



And please, AARP and Spanx – you are both lovely corporations.
You just happened to work here.

6 comments:

  1. I remember belting that song while driving to a week of water skiing on Lake Havasu. I'm still trying to rev my engine in my mid 50s, but I have a few issues to maintain. But I argue that I'm like a classic car. I just need a little TLC, but I still have a lot of style! Thanks for updating Hagar's tune for midlife.

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    1. I must agree. We are classics!! So glad you enjoyed the post!

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  2. Love it! Your rendition is great and it's too bad you didn't get the video made. Maybe Weird Al Yankovic can help you with that - he likes to put a fun spin on the classics. Lol

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    1. I even have a cameo for SAMMY...should the video ever happen!

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  3. Love it! Your rendition is great and it's too bad you didn't get the video made. Maybe Weird Al Yankovic can help you with that - he likes to put a fun spin on the classics. Lol

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  4. Happy belated birthday! My favorite line: "I'm jammied, sippin' cab by quarter to eight." I can so relate.

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Got a Hairnet sighting? Other weirdness?