To the tune of that Sammy Hagar
classic...
I Can't Be Fifty-Five
One foot in the shoe, the
heel is high
Clerk shoots me a look,
'you're too old, don't try.'
She brings out a flat.
Ain't no sexy shoe!
These Millennials gettin'
all in my face again....
Take your AARP card!
Your damn Spanx too!
I'm goin' sleeveless
with no face primer too!
In my heart I'm not dead,
I'm ALIVE!
I can't be FIFTY-FIVE!!
Can't go to clubs, music
starts too late.
I'm jammied, sippin' cab
by quarter to eight.
My twenty-five year old
soul still wants to dance
Hip joints say 'NO! You
had your chance!'
I cry, VOGUE!!
Take your AARP card!
Your damn Spanx too!
I'm goin' sleeveless
with no face primer too!
In my heart I'm not dead,
I'm ALIVE!
I can't be FIFTY-FIVE!!
If you haven't figured it
out, today is my birthday.
I am having absolutely no
issues with my age.
My only regret is I have no
videographer...
My apologies to Sammy Hagar.
Love you, man.
Here's the real thing, in case you haven't heard...
And please, AARP and Spanx –
you are both lovely corporations.
You just happened to work
here. 
I remember belting that song while driving to a week of water skiing on Lake Havasu. I'm still trying to rev my engine in my mid 50s, but I have a few issues to maintain. But I argue that I'm like a classic car. I just need a little TLC, but I still have a lot of style! Thanks for updating Hagar's tune for midlife.
ReplyDeleteI must agree. We are classics!! So glad you enjoyed the post!
DeleteLove it! Your rendition is great and it's too bad you didn't get the video made. Maybe Weird Al Yankovic can help you with that - he likes to put a fun spin on the classics. Lol
ReplyDeleteI even have a cameo for SAMMY...should the video ever happen!
DeleteLove it! Your rendition is great and it's too bad you didn't get the video made. Maybe Weird Al Yankovic can help you with that - he likes to put a fun spin on the classics. Lol
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday! My favorite line: "I'm jammied, sippin' cab by quarter to eight." I can so relate.
ReplyDelete