Tuppence a Bag

 I am not sure when I became a crazy bird lady. 

Yes, we inherited a well weathered wooden feeder when we bought the house 37 years ago.

Sure, when the kids were little we made special bird cakes and popcorn and cranberry strands to hang in the ‘bird tree’ at Christmas.

Okay, I have requested bird feeding paraphernalia for several gift giving holidays in the past. 

And…I have not one but two bird identifier aps on my phone….

Robins playing a drinking game

The prevailing thought seems to be that a bird feeder, binoculars, notebook and brown paper bag of breadcrumbs arrives concurrent with your AARP card. (With the first time you complain about the weather as related to joint pain they add in an Audubon beginners bird book.)

Admittedly the median age of any five people in my bird seed store (yes, I have a preferred bird seed store - Wild Birds Unlimited) is 64.25 years of age, this is no reason to automatically assign senior discount status to my credentials. I do think that while our ‘lost year’ (the pandemic) helped make birding more acceptable to multiple generations, there is still a sensible shoes and bulky cardigan sweaters vibe attached. 

(This does not include Hummingbirds. Hummingbirds are enjoying a globally popular resurgence in feeding and tracking. And while they are thrilling, I have yet to see such meanly aggressive behavior in any of my other yard birds. I had to set up a decoy feeder just so Alpha Hummingbird could guard ‘HIS’ feeder.) 

slightly grainy photo of Alpha Hummingbird

I eased into bird watching slowly with the aforementioned inherited feeder. Fueled by observing the delight my Dad took in spotting a tufted titmouse or a rare blue bunting. 

In fact, Dad was the first person I alerted when I spotted not one but two vibrantly blue bunting at my feeders one summer. 

There is nothing quite like the thrill of catching the first migratory dark eyed junco cruising in for a tasty suet snack. Or catching a bluejay as he grabs an entire peanut in the shell. 

And don’t get me started on spotting TWO actual blue birds at the birdbath over Christmas this year! 

Of course, bird watching is also an opportunity to teach your young children about the circle of life as Red-Tailed hawk swoops in, clearing the busy feeder and catching a turtle dove nearly twice his side. The catch being so big that he had to hop-drag it to the top of the yard where an even larger hawk relieved him of his meal. 

It was an equally amazing and horrifying lesson. But one that made a lasting impression on the importance of living in the moment…

I added the Merlin bird ID ap during one of the many Bird Count Weekends. An at home event The next Great Backyard Bird Count is Feb 16-19. Check it out here - https://www.birdcount.org/

What better excuse than to hang around by your favorite window or on your deck with a cup of coffee!

One of the most peaceful activities in my mind is just quietly watching the traffic at my newly filled feeder. There are identifiable traffic patterns and seatings. 

Early morning gets the smaller birds, cardinals, blue jays and squirrels. 

Mid-day brings starlings, doves, robins and squirrels. 

Evening can be a mix, especially if The Great Seed Lady opts to refill. Then it’s a little bit of everyone. 

And squirrels.

Okay, technically not a squirrel, but just so amazing. And part of the feeding pattern

not a single bird or squirrel has EVER brought their babies up to visit.

Unlike a lot of birders, I don’t mind the ancillary eaters - including but not limited to squirrels, deer, raccoons, possums, fox, coyote and once an actual HORSE!

They provide a bit of comic relief as they try to hang upside down to empty the $35 a bag thistle seed all over the ground, or attempt to grab a quick drink of water while not disturbing the human sitting in the deck chair less than a foot away from the bird bath.

And how much fun is it to watch that scoop of seed shoot out of the feeder and onto your feet because Squirrel has chewed a larger opening in the side of the feeder to make it easier to throw seed everywhere. 

The trick is to keep the everyone well fed to the point of hiding whole peanuts in the deck plants thus providing a fun experiment in Just What is That Sprouting in February in my banana tree pot and NOT eating my tomatoes.

Yet, with all the extra cost of seed, suet, feeders, heated bird bath… The many mornings racing to the fill the feeders before work, in rain and sleet and below zero temps…

Seeing Half-Tail Squirrel peeking in the kitchen window when the seeds are late or hearing Carolina Wren chirping and leaving tiny feet prints by the backdoor in a dusting of snow makes it all worthwhile. 

And when they leave their suet in the shape of a heart?! 

Go ahead and ship me my brightly colored housedress, and field vest. 

My name is Laura and I am a Bird Watcher.  

(I would also like to give a Shout-out to longtime Coast of Illinoiser - BO, for her quick thinking and bravery in snapping a picture of the rare, inside, cold-weather Hairnet. While unsure of the exact species, it has been determined that this particular variety is harmless, most likely lethargic from an ambient heat source and too much chatter about football and Taylor Swift.) 

Coast of Illinois is not liable for any injury, or mockery sustained while photographing nets in the wild.


Happy Depths of Winter, Everyone!
Stay warm, make hot chocolate and study those seed catalogs for Spring!

Do Not Place Your Trust Blindly in the Chocolate Index

Finally, it's that time of year.

The one weekend in which I have NOTHING to do. No shopping, no decorating, no cleaning, no laundry.

Okay, there may be some laundry.

The weekend between Christmas and New Years. The one weekend every year when I can kick back, eat chocolate Santas while watching the Complete DVD box set of whatever 1980's hit television show I didn't watch during it's original prime time run but still somehow managed to incorporate all the tag lines into my everyday conversation. (This year it is Twin Peaks. Which, from the two episodes I have watched so far may be more fairly described as not so much of a 'hit' as a 'constant state of schizophrenia'. Which is probably why I can completely relate.)

No concerns about working out or eating right or doing taxes – the New Year is still days away.

It is also the time of year when everyone from the lady at the grocery store to the dude in the bow-tie who hosts CBS Sunday Morning looks back over the previous year.

I catch myself reminiscing as well. It is probably all that hot chocolate, free time and enormous 1980's eye-wear. (Have I ever mentioned that during most of the 1980's I dressed exactly like Maggie O'connell from Northern Exposure? And a little like the Log Lady from Twin Peaks.) Okay. Enough with the reminiscing.

This is the weekend to play with the new Christmas goodies – like my Mini-Bonsai tree: 

This is really more of an exercise in faith rather than tiny tree gardening.

I know. Not much of a tree yet. But after 7 days of 'cold stratifying' they are suppose to burst forth in a zen display of tiny, well manicured branches.

And my new bird feeder:

Behold the rare MidWestern Squirreltle Dove The Squirreltle Dove is flightless yet still manages to take shelter in the smallest of feeding alcoves.

It is also the weekend to play with the writing journal my daughter gave me. It is full of inspirational quotes and writing prompts such as:

What does regret taste like?

And I have an answer:

Regret tastes like that piece of chocolate you really, really wanted. The one shaped in the international symbol for caramel. No need to consult the chocolate index on the bottom of the box. No one would dare to make another, lesser chocolate in the legal, copyrighted, trademarked caramel square...but instead, you bite in and the chocolate is waxy and the filling, while initially chewy turns more and more into jelly with weird crunchy bits. In your brain, you can taste the rich creamy caramel but in your mouth the only thing sticking to your teeth are those unidentifiable, slightly raspberry tasting bits. You want to throw the remainder of the offending candy away but that would be wasteful. Wrong. So you own the lesson chocolate. Not so much savoring as reliving the impulse which brought you to this place. Even after brushing your teeth, the taste of the imposter lingers, as do the calories, now wasted.

The question got me to thinking about regret. I actually have very few. The biggest one – which involved a poorly canceled engagement – was, with the help of time, maturity and the amazing stalker-ing abilities afforded by Facebook – rectified. The others really fall more under the category of 'things I wish I had done'. Such as 'I wish I had gone to Jamaica for my co-worker's wedding ' and 'I wish I hadn't let these extra pounds creep up on me' and 'if only we had snuck into that stranger's wedding photo'....

Because honestly, if I were to change the more major decisions I have and haven't made – such as a different career path or a different house choice or even better financial decisions – I would not be where I am today. And what's the point of wasting a bunch of energy on regretting things that may or may not have brought me to such a wonderful place?

So, as this glorious weekend of nothingness draws to a close. As we prepare to celebrate the ending of 2013 and the beginning of 2014, I leave you with this:

Live your lives with conviction and determination. Find happiness in the day-to-day. Even if, once in a while, it means getting stuck with a weird jelly candy instead of an amazing caramel.

And if you're a little afraid, just do what I do and stick your finger in the bottom of that decision. If it turns out to be a lesser nougat or maple weirdness just stick it back in the box and move on.

Because life doesn't come with a chocolate index printed on the bottom and face it, life is too short to waste those calories.

(Please note, I wrote that little exercise after a HUGE Christmas dinner which had followed a HUGE Christmas breakfast which had followed a HUGE Christmas Eve dinner. I had no business breaking into a box of chocolates and in the less stuffed light of day, the chocolates – which were a gift from my sister-in-law – are quite delicious. In no way did I mean to step on Forest Gump's toes with that little box of chocolates analogy. I mean, you can see the flaw in his logic. No one ever eats a chocolate out of the box without first consulting the chocolate directory that finer candy companies place on the bottom of the box or at the very least, poking the bottom of the candy to test it out.)

So from the Coast of Illinois:

Happy Poking!

And

Happy 2014!