La VIe Boheme

 Well, hello. 

It has been quite a while, and quite a year here at Coast of Illinois. Biggest news being that I have retired, after 42 years of nursing. Those thoughts are for another time, however. 

It is a new time. And to borrow from a certain well known pop icon - I am in my Vie Boheme era. 

Or trying to get there…

About six months before my final day as a productive member of society, I started a Pinterest board to help me plan for this new life. I saved about one hundred posts about “How to manage your retirement”, “Living the ‘slow’ lifestyle” and the ever popular “You’re not dead yet, do these 47 things to reset your life”. 

I read none of them. 

My husband was also retiring, for his second time, and I knew from that first attempt, that there is absolutely a transitional period. It manifests itself as a total inability to do anything but sit on the couch watching mindless television and lamenting the fact that you have accomplished nothing but probably getting dressed.

I had already made up my mind what my new, artistic life would look like:

I would rise as the sun gently filtered onto my face, waking me gently where I would lie back and take in the peaceful quiet of the house before climbing out of bed, brushing my teeth, washing my face. Twenty minutes of mindful and focused stretching yoga would pass as the fog of night clears from my eager, active brain.  

After this, I would brew a perfect cup of coffee, take my book and a blanket, should it be nippy out of doors, and sit on my beautifully landscaped patio where I would again sit back and listen to the gentle birdsong accompanied by the lush rustling of leaves and read for thirty minutes. 

The rest of my day would be filled with painting and writing, a healthy lunch, an invigorating workout, a chat with a friend and then a dinner of such Michelin star quality that we would both feel slightly faint. 

This is what my new life actually looks like:

I wake to a pitch black room, not because the sun has kissed me but because the road crew who is building a new drainage system and restructuring our road has started backing ALL of their equipment down the newly spread gravel at such a speed that the dust cloud has blocked out even the sun’s most cancer causing UV rays and the constant, uncoordinated beeping of each vehicle has come together to form one gigantic, off key symphony. 

I try to lie back and enjoy the cool stillness but, if I have been lucky and slept the entire night through, I need to race to the bathroom. 

I brush my teeth and wash my face. 

Slightly more awake, I stumble into the kitchen, it’s now 7:30 and I really just want a cup of coffee. Stretching can wait. I immediately flip on the television for the TODAY show as my coffee brews and I simultaneously check my news feed to catch up on what  WhoWhatWear says the Newest Fashion IT Gurls would never be caught dead in. 

Very important information for me, a 65 year old woman whose biggest plan for the week is to hit Target AND the grocery store. 

I want to go outside and read, I love how good it makes me feel first thing in the morning. It was a habit I started when I was working and giving myself even fifteen minutes started the day off beautifully. 

But, coming up after the break, the TODAY show is giving their TOP 10 Beauty picks. And lord knows I could use five or six of them. I am pretty sure. 

My husband is now up and making his healthy breakfast while I attempt to drink my mango smoothie without getting hit in the nose by the inevitable iceberg of frozen fruit. After this he is heading down to do a Peloton bike ride, which he will text and tell me about if it is particularly interesting and remind me later that he has lowered the bike seat in preparation for what we both know is hell freezing over before I cut into my day to ride. 

The rest of my day is full of random chores, scrolling and games on my phone, a minimum of two hours of really bad television before starting dinner which is then followed by more bad television and one last game review.  

Gotta get those free diamonds…

It has taken me FOUR months to get to this point, where I can honestly look at my current routine and say THIS ISN’T WORKING! 

So, after a pep talk from two very good friends this weekend, a talk I can only assume Rob put them up to with promises of the really good rum, I dug out my daily planner and set up some goals. I also read through those 78 posts on Pinterest about resetting your life in retirement and barely slept last night for writing and rewriting this post in my head. I won’t even start on the watercolor tutorial I watched at 0230.

I should be exhausted right now, given I honestly only got about three hours of solid sleep, but the truth is, I feel - renewed. 

I did get up to the gentle sunlight in a peaceful and quiet house. The road crew must have had a late start. 

I wandered into the kitchen to find a chickadee on the patio wall singing his heart out while I made my coffee. My Weight Watchers ap complimented me on my choice of grapefruit and only eating TWO slices of crispy bacon for breakfast.

Yes, I did check out the fashion news feed, which may or may not have resulted in a spontaneous Amazon purchase and I did watch my friends at the TODAY show while checking on my favorite games.

BUT, after that I sweatsuited up and did that NASA space ride on the bike that Rob was so excited about as well as a good post ride stretch. I had a healthy lunch while outside on the patio as I read two short stories by Summerset Maugham. 

I have a delicious dinner planned with my sister and I am here, at my desk, notebook open and the first post in a very long time is now complete. 

This is the 20 minute NASA ride with the astronaut Jessica Meyer and Robin Arzon. Yes, those are my sadly inadequate numbers at the bottom

of the screen. But in my defense, I hate to sweat. 

I hope you have enjoyed this little introduction to my retirement and I hope you return often to check in on how things are going. 

I can’t promise daily updates right now, but I promise, the ones that do make it up will make you wonder about…my sanity…in a good way…

Snowballs!

We are well into the resolution keeping period of the year, and while I don’t make ‘resolutions’ per se, I try to set goals. One of those being to exercise more frequently.

To that end, we have had an ongoing debate over joining our local RecPlex which opened about 8 months ago.

The RecPlex holds a lot of perks:

It’s only a couple miles away, within bike range in warmer months.

It’s brand new, with a pool, a work out room full of fancy equipment, and minimal gym sock smell.

Two of our friends are frequent users.

But there are also downfalls:

It’s a couple miles away, which means I have to get up, dress, get there, work out, get home, clean up – making my thirty-minute workout a day into more of an hour. An hour of which only thirty minutes counts for anything.

All the fancy pools and equipment in the world won’t necessarily motivate me, without a class instructor to encourage me. And sadly, my work schedule makes in nearly impossible to consistently hit a class.

Our good friends are there. We would like them to remain good friends, and as I feel that all relationships are based on a certain amount of mystery, seeing me in spandex might just be the tipping point.

Spandex does not allow for much mystery.

With all this debate, and a cost/usage analysis done, it was decided that purchasing a Well-Advertised Fancy Exercise Bike would be the better way to go. (From here on out noted as WAFEB)

And that is where the Snowballs  begin.

First it was where to put the WAFEB. If the television is to be believed, most WAFEB owners have thirty story penthouses with views erected just for their bikes.

Lacking a thirty-story penthouse with a simultaneous view of mountains and ocean, we went with the spot in our downstairs formally known as the Toy Room. (Our kids are 29 and 31. The name is truly a formality at this point.)

Snowball…

But we couldn’t possibly go with the room as is, except for the fresh coat of paint applied a year ago after the enormous flood.

So, what started out as a ‘let’s clean out the toy room' became:

What are we going to do with these tubs of books, blankets, electronics, office supplies…? Where did all these staplers come from? Is that a hole punch? And OMG, is that REALLY the floor under there???

That discussion concluded with me needing to mop and then steam clean what’s left of the ugly tile in prep for putting down the beautiful, new, really-too-pretty for a workout room, rug.

Oh, and a trip to Goodwill.

Snowball…

Yet all I really want to do is upload pics to a printing site and have wall art made to decorate….

And maybe make a vision board….

Oh, and there might be an aromatherapy diffuser to add a zen quality as I curse at the chirpy instructors and help cover up the cat box scent…(did I mention the new Workout Room is also the Cat's bathroom?)

Snowball…

One of the arguments for getting the WAFEB was me actually using the WAFEB.

I work four, 10-hour days a week. This gives me three days off.

So that’s three days of workouts.

But I am also a 58-year-old woman who clearly needs more than three days a week to make a dent in my current state of physical decline.

So….
I have plans to dedicate three of those four workdays to work outs. 
I have also recruited a friend to text me in the morning and remind (harrass) me to get up and work out. She is relentless. And not easily offended by my replies...

This means getting up at 5am to give me enough time to brush teeth, wash my face and peel my eyeballs open, change into work out clothes, feed the cat and crawl downstairs to get 30 solid minutes of exercise in before starting my actual workday.
But that is just the beginning.

Snowball…

In order to get up at 5 am, I now must:
Go to bed by 9:30 at the latest.

Cut out the occasional glass of wine in the evening to facilitate going to bed.

Turn off BRAVO, Home design and that evil entity known as Facebook.

Snowball…

I started this plan a little early by easing in to working out again with some yoga classes provided, conveniently by the WAFEB company.

With the purchase of WAFEB we got a subscription to their Fancy Work Outs. Which are subversively encouraging, given titles such as 2-week Yoga class for Beginners and 10 day Get in Shape or We Will Track You Down and Take Photos of You in Spandex intermediate strength training.

As it turns out, the WAFEB company is pretty darn prompt with their delivery so at this writing I have just completed week four of the six-week Beginner Learn to Cycle, because Clearly You Have Never Ridden A Bike Before, workout.

It has taken me this long to figure out how to UNCLIP my feet from the pedals at the end of each session. And it's still hit or miss if I remove the shoe or the foot first.

But I haven’t fallen off or over the bike yet, so that’s a win!

Snowball…

And there are so many rides to choose from, Pop Music Rides, Rock Music Rides, Love Advice Rides, Lady Gaga Rides.....
(I am dying to try that last one, not sure if it's just Lady Gaga's music or if she actually leads the class...)

Snowball…

And with all this working out, it seems a shame to eat anything less than healthy.

So…. meal plans…meal prepping….new lunch containers…

Snowballs!!! 

The WorkOut Room. Deluxe folding chair for putting on clip-on shoes of death. The table, sporting weights and painting is for the ipad should I manage to advance to Core work...

While JoeKatt is not thrilled with sharing his spa, he does appreciate the scenic photos and M&M clock. The jenky seat cover is purely a personal choice...

And, should you like to do a late night 'mood' ride...