Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Hey! Mr. Spaceman

I met my first Alien Abduction survivor the other day. He was as credible a source as he could be – a professional, living in the Southwest in the 1970's at the time. His story consisted of loss of four hours of time spent in a car and a sketchy radar blip collaboration.

Which brought to mind some questions:

Why did so many A-Abductions occur in the 70's?
Was it the ease with which their tractor beams could latch on and raise up our gigantic steel cars?
Were they fascinated by our use of polyester as a clothing material, our attempts to be taller via the wearing of platform heels...our white guy 'fros?
Did they groove to the sweet tunes of pre-royalty Elton John and Paul McCartney?
Maybe they were trying to learn more about our methods of teaching safety through movies – The Towering Inferno, Airport...Jaws....

And why did these A-Abductions slack off?
It was disco, wasn't it.

Why is it we don't hear much about A-Abductions anymore?

Did they learn all they needed?
Is space fuel just too expensive?
Are they terrified that one of their more athletic guys will wind up married to Kim Kardashian?
Maybe our plastic cars are too tiny and difficult to beam up.
Have we become so jaded that we blame our lapses in time on 'sleep driving' side effects of medication?

Or...maybe that's exactly what They want us to believe...

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