Fireworks hate people. Given the chance they will chase you around the block, lodge in your t-shirt and burn the &*^%$&^& out of you.
If you flood the floor of an abandoned chicken house and call it an ice rink...they will come.
One bunny makes a fun Easter gift. Two bunnies makes you the Tyson Bunny Rancher. And no matter how emphatically you call it 'chicken' it is still a left over bunny.
Just because the pony is adorable and free doesn't make it any less likely to kill you in your sleep because it is the devil.
The 'lucky' t-shirt from the previous fireworks lesson won't keep you from setting fire to a pontoon boat roof.
If you take your wife and kids to Mount Rushmore nothing can stop them from posing like the heads in at least one family picture.
|You thought I was kidding, didn't you...|
A PallMall butt thrown from the driver's window of an Impala station wagon will return through the passenger window and set fire to the seat. Every time.
Camper + Family x Miles To Florida = 17 Broken Fan Belts
You can never see too many Forts.
And the converse: Seen one Fort...you've seen them all. Seriously.
And, through it all, the good, the bad and the flammable – your family will always love you!
Happy Father's Day Dad!!!
|Me and my Dad.|
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