Fireworks
hate people. Given the chance they will chase you around the block,
lodge in your t-shirt and burn the &*^%$&^& out of you.
If you
flood the floor of an abandoned chicken house and call it an ice
rink...they will come.
One
bunny makes a fun Easter gift. Two bunnies makes you the Tyson Bunny
Rancher. And no matter how emphatically you call it 'chicken' it is
still a left over bunny.
Just
because the pony is adorable and free doesn't make it any less likely
to kill you in your sleep because it is the devil.
The
'lucky' t-shirt from the previous fireworks lesson won't keep you
from setting fire to a pontoon boat roof.
If you
take your wife and kids to Mount Rushmore nothing can stop them from
posing like the heads in at least one family picture.
You thought I was kidding, didn't you... |
A
PallMall butt thrown from the driver's window of an Impala station
wagon will return through the passenger window and set fire to the
seat. Every time.
Camper +
Family x Miles To Florida = 17 Broken Fan Belts
You can
never see too many Forts.
And the
converse: Seen one Fort...you've seen them all. Seriously.
And,
through it all, the good, the bad and the flammable – your family will always love you!
Happy
Father's Day Dad!!!
Me and my Dad. |
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