Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Horror! The HORROR!!

Trick or Treat
Smell my feet
Give me something good
to read!

The Writers Pad

Scary ass short stories and poetry all available for download on most e-readers and computers! Just click the link above.  FREE!
https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/a6a5e18552ca06b5ce394d80e2787480e2d2ebba
Oh sure. Its not those awesome tiny snickers but it is low cal, low fat and surprisingly high in fiber!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I'll Have the Biggie Shave

NOTICE: this installment involves razor blades and leg shaving. (Leg shaving appliances, no actual nicks or bleeding included.)

I accidentally picked up a different type of refill for my razor. Okay, maybe not accidentally. The box had a super pretty flower design on it. Plus it has an extra 'comfort' strip of moisturizing lotion. And BONUS – it is twice as wide as my old razor blades.

You know what this means?

It now takes half the time to shave my legs. Seriously. I can now shave my legs in the shower without running out of hot water. This refill is like the double wide ginzu of razor blades allowing twice the ninja blade coverage. Which is a huge time saver when you have sturdy Germanic legs as I do.

Of course, you may not want to use a double wide to shave your more 'delicate' areas. You know, those places where you do not want to cut a large swatch....unless you're into that sort of thing...And I suppose everyone appreciates a time saver...

  
Mama Pajama! Now that's a blade!

 (and as always...Venus Embrace* ...not a paid public announcement)

Monday, October 8, 2012

Welcome to Your New Home

Of the past 72 hours, I have spent nearly 30 at work. (This includes travel time because...well, because.) This is just a few hours short of half of three days. (Which happens to be the entire weekend. Not that I'm bitter.) This does not leave a whole lot of time for eating, sleeping, relaxing or bathing. It does leave enough time for me to figure the ratio of work to not work and where I could have driven and or flown in the amount of time I have spent on both. (Colorado, Most of the Gulf Coast, My villa in Tuscany/Paris/Mediterranean.) ((Not push me here, I am really sleepy.))

Clearly I should have been more specific when I said I wanted a second home.

Oh Sure, Great View but I really prefer the back of my eyelids.







Friday, October 5, 2012

The New Algonquin

I will admit it. I love Facebook. Yes, I understand that this much cyber contact can be an issue for children and I am thankful that I did not have to deal with Facebook when my kids were in school. But I am an adult and being an adult, I enter into social interactions with an adult attitude....and I have only had to resort to the tried and true 'I know you are but what am I' once or twice...

Why do I enjoy Facebook so much? It offers a quick glimpse into people's lives, lets us share photos and events and random thoughts and at times allows for instantaneous interactions with people around the world. Let me put this into perspective.

I grew up with a party line telephone. There were three or four other families on our phone line. I think each phone had a certain ring so you knew if the call was yours. I was in grade school so didn't get that many phone calls. However, on the rare occasion that I urgently needed to call my friend down the road I would pick up the phone and check to see if anyone else was using the line – you could tell by the conversation you were inadvertently eaves dropping on. Proper upbringing taught me to get off the line if someone else was on it. But, the best was when I would pick up the phone and my friend, who I was just about to call, had also just picked up the phone!

Who knew that a short 40 years later I would be able to do the very same thing but ON A COMPUTER!

Anyway. My point here is this: Facebook is fun. It is a great way to communicate with many people. It also seems to have the ability to turn grownups into 4th graders.  As adults we do have to be careful what we post. Clearly all out attacks on people is bad form Yet, if I chose to make fun of MYSELF by calling my self a geezer that is my choice. You are free to comment on my geezerdom but you are NOT allowed to reprimand me for attacking a certain group of people. Unless of course the Geezers of America don't want me to be a member ...

Have a great Weekend Everyone! See you on the FAcebook...but keep those damn balls out of my yard!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Mini Hairnet Roundup 10-03-2012

Sorry for the delay but had to spend the day Head First, Waist Deep in a closet. How does one person wind up owning 16 white blouses and a Stevie Nick's bell-sleeved belly shirt? And don't even get me started on the number of thongs. I don't even wear them yet somehow they show up in the underwear drawer. Okay, I had one. It was worn one time as a social experiment at an as still un-named family gathering. Apparently it was a pregnant thong and has given birth to tiny baby thongs of its own. If any one is interested in adopting one, please DO NOT let me know. However, I am pretty sure there is a professional that would be willing to help you out.

Now, on to the regularly scheduled round-up.

Hairnet sightings have been on the decrease. It is assumed the Nets are migrating south. This is just a ruse. Be alert People. They are merely waiting and watching for the first crisp fall afternoon.

What is more disturbing? My friend's shirtless neighbor. Apparently he is ALWAYS not wearing a shirt. Even when he is interrupted 'cooking'. To the gentlemen (whom I assume were roped into reading this by the mention of 'thong' – like how I worked that to my advantage?): Guys, we love you but unless you are Daniel Craig or Denzel Washington leave your shirt on while cooking. Seriously.

And, speaking of cooking...
Check out Pious Kitchen Lady! Providing cooking tips and fashion advice two or three times a week, who can tell...she is awfully busy...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

What Do You Mean! They Don't Teach This in School?

I got my hair cut this past weekend. I have been looking for a new hairdresser for a while and I really wanted to like this new place. The girls were super chirpy and giggly, the salon design was totally sleek and modern. And who doesn't want their hairdresser to be named 'Fringe'???

We were laughing and chatting when it happened. I was performing my duties as Ambassador of Coast of Illinois and telling the new girl about the many great and awesome places to go around here and of course, Blueberry Hill came up. I mentioned the delicious burgers and told her a little history of the place and then mentioned that the owner is friends with Chuck Berry.

Her reply?
 'Who's Chuck Berry?'

That does it. I officially have to start stuffing used tissues into all my pockets and stealing pink sugars from restaurants. Oh, and I am going to need to find someone to finish cutting my hair...

Johnny B Good and listen to something other than Lady Gaga

Monday, October 1, 2012

Sweet Caroline! I Think We're Having a Journey Moment!

Cue the Moon! Cue the Moon!
You know when you watch a movie and suddenly everyone in the restaurant begins singing and dancing and then total strangers on the street join and everyone seems to be connected in some weird cosmic manner?

You now the scene.

A Laughing Couple dines on penette alla ariabita and chicken parm. The Singer sets up and begins playing and a rogue drummer joins in on the bongos for a song or two. The Singer rolls into September and everyone is dancing in their chairs but the lady across the patio begins to dance outright. The man at the table across the way is caught up in the beat and joins her.

A fountain bubbles in the crisp autumn air under a clear midnight sky as four young women giggle and dance to music only just now heard as the director cues groups of two and three to walk past, admiring the diners, dancers and music. Waiters hustle between the wrought iron tables delivering delicate glasses of wine and The Singer serenades a birthday girl as the diners join in.

The Laughing Couple joins the dance with You Make My Dreams Come True. The man mocks his wife for her Molly Ringwald impersonation and she tells him he reminds her of Rob Lowe-in About Last Night, not so much St. Elmo's Fire .

The Singer wraps it up for the night, to the disappointment of his faithful audience. He moves through the patio, shaking hand and offering hugs, posing with The Fountain Girls for a giggling picture as Volare rings over the sound system and the Diners fall into an impromptu conga line. The Waiters shake hands as checks are paid and everyone laughs and says 'until next time'. As the moon rises higher above the rooftop the Laughing Couple knows they have been privileged to once again experience magic.

The director calls cut and the credits roll.

You know the scene.

Well, that scene was my Saturday night. 

The setting was Paul Mineo's in WestPort Plaza.
This Italian restaurant was a surprise to my husband and me, although it has been around for years. The food is amazing and did I mention the wine glasses are huge? If you go I highly recommend the dishes mentioned above as well as the Artichoke appetizer and the Filet stuffed with seafood. Yum.

The part of The Singer was played by Brian Clarke, a St. Louis musician who -HELLO- should be getting his own category in the next Riverfront Times Best of Edition.
He has played in the St Louis area for years, covers every song ever written as well as his own tunes. He inadvertently played our wedding reception. (It was undercover, he never knew so technically I guess we still owe him.)

The parts of the Diners and the Fountain Girls were played by a group of people who just happened to come together for an amazing evening.

And the part of the Laughing Couple was played by yours truly and my husband.

Molly Ringwald and Rob Lowe were not harmed in the dancing.

yup, that's the size of the wine glasses...on the Moon