My inner dialogue has been particularly loud lately. So loud, in fact, that I caught myself discussing the merits of Serif vs Block Letter Stencils in the Martha Stewart aisle at Micheals. I quickly shut myself up but then my inner self just had to comment that the serif letters were really much prettier and well, I had to agree.
And that's when the Craft Mom with the three toddlers hustled her brood out of the Martha Stewart aisle and directly towards the glitter aisle. An amateur move if you ask me.
Of course this got me thinking about inner dialogue. Wikipedia seems to support inner dialogue offering the act as a way of working towards better thinking. (This is later in the article, after they mention 'demon possession'.) A second site – SuccessConsciousness – feels that inner dialogue should be controlled as too many negative conversations can have negative results. To which I say, "What a jerk." Pretentious idiot.
But then I was distracted by the laughter in my head as I read ProcessCoaching which says that you can experience inner dialogue with your embryo state, snort, transpersonal beings, snort, and essences. WaHaa! This just gave me a headache. But then I felt a little sorry that I was mocking something that someone else might believe and I had a brief moment of inner remorse which was quickly followed by more laughter.
Inner and Outer.
Frankly, I like having an inner dialogue. My inner conversations allow me to comment – filter free- on the various ridiculous, futile and irritating situations my outer self must deal with daily. Rarely is my inner dialogue quiet. In fact right now it is shouting at my husband for dissing my new pillow.* And I am okay with that. Except when it gets so loud that it can not be contained. Like this morning in the Martha Stewart Aisle...and the other day at work. Which is really the catalyst for this particular blog. They have figured that out. Stop it...
But I digress...
The other day at work, I was talking with a co-worker about the breakfast meeting we were about to attend. I began walking down the hallway as we finished our conversation, she remained at the desk, speculating on the breakfast foods we might find at the meeting.
I was hoping for donuts.
I was hoping for donuts so strongly that my inner dialogue shouted "I haven't had a donut in forever..." just as the Doctor was exiting Module C. My co-worker was around the corner in Module B. He looked at me, simultaneously concerned and afraid.
"Who are you talking too?" he asked, secretly terrified of the asked.
I stopped walking, looked back and forth with only my eyes, knowing that no one was with me in the hallway and drawing on years of watching Lucille Ball and Gilda Radner I said, "She was right behind me! I swear! My friend was right behind me!" My inner dialogue was uncharacteristically silent.
He nodded with understanding and hurriedly returned through the automatic doors as they slammed shut.
I do not want to know what his inner dialogue was discussing.
Okay, yes I do.
*My husband and I have been having a twenty year battle over pillows...more on that later.