Thursday, April 25, 2013

Desperate Times

Thanks to the quantity of April Showers it is taking to bring those May Flowers commuting to work has become a little more hazardous here on the Coast of Illinois. A brave co-worker put her life on the line and road the parking lot shuttle one torrentially damp day.

Not only was she subjected to the horrors adult bus rides but...she spotted this:

note the Hairnet's respect for the number one rule of public transportation: take only one seat, don't hog both on busy commute days!

Frightened at first, she noticed that the Net was actually huddled near the wall of the bus and being the caring person she is, she inquired after its well-being. Imagine her surprise to learn that this lone, shuttle riding Net was participating in Hairnets Without Humans*; a program whose goal is connecting rogue Hairnets with their human counterparts. She learned that their mission is global protection of food source contamination and hairstyle stability.

Such high ideals for such a tiny Hairnet. To this the Coast of Illinois says, "Dare to Dream, little Net...Dare to Dream!"

*Hairnets Without Humans is a grassroots start-up. Be sure to contact your local Paul Mitchell Salon prior to accepting aids from Hairnets. Hairnets Without Humans would like you to know they are not affiliated with HairScrunchies For Peace or Headbands For Hoochies. There have been reports of these unscrupulous Nets misrepresenting themselves as members of HwithoutH, duping humans into wearing Hairnets in places other than food service areas thus gaining entry into unauthorized locals and subsequently freaking out those unsuspecting people who find their remains.

What has this world come to.

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