Buddy, can you spare some time?

So, here is the list of things I am suppose to be doing in the New Year:

Exercise a minimum of 30 minutes a day

Eat 5 fruits and/or vegetables a day

Drink 8 glasses of water...a day

Brush teeth two minutes twice a day and floss

Drink a glass of wine

Don't drink a glass of wine because it is wasted calories and

Lose a minimum of 15 pounds this year

Write a minimum of 30 minutes a day

Get at least 8 hours sleep

Oh, and work 10 hours, four days a week.

Not that bad, really.

 Well, lets do the math:

Exercise 30 minutes. By the time I put on the work out clothes, visit the little girls room, put on my cross-training shoes, fix an ice water, visit the little girl's room, set up the treadmill and the DVD player to a tolerable program...Exercise adds up to more like 45 minutes.

Post work out shower and shopping for cute new exercise clothes: 2 hours.

Eating really shouldn't count but it is so much easier to eat plenty of fresh fruits and veggies when they are pre-cleaned and displayed attractively in the fridge: 1 hour.

Kitchen decontamination from knife wounds: 1 hour.

Drinking water – 3 hours.

Who am I kidding, 6 hours.

(Sorry to burst your illusions but I am a 50ish year old woman. Do I really have to spell it out?)

Thanks to my new self timing spin toothbrush, my dental goals are easily met in about 90 minutes. Sure, two minutes to brush. 3 or 4 to floss. 30 spent gagging on toothpaste, floss and gigantic toothbrush that SPINS. 55 minutes cleaning spit off the bathroom mirror = 90 minutes.

Everyone knows it takes a good 40 minutes to really drink a nice glass of wine.

Don't drink a glass of wine because it is wasted calories and

Lose a minimum of 15 pounds this year. SEE ABOVE

Writing?

Okay, it took 26 minutes to put this together.

Lets increase that time to 60 minutes a day, okay?

And sleep?

Does the nap I took while practicing yoga this morning count?