I Got This One, Ralph Nader

*The following is an unpaid product review:

A sample of a AGE-PERFECT skin serum recently came into my possession. (Okay, fine. I got it out of my Vogue September issue. No one actually sent it to me.) This sample touted Instant Hydration, Increased Elasticity and MORE RADIANT, RESILIENT SKIN...after 4 weeks of use.

I haven't really measured lately but I feel that I probably have the typical amount of facial surface area as the next woman. So here's a news flash, L'Oreal. That tiny little 1.5ml sample you flaunt at my average sized face will never last 4 weeks. But, I guess *unpaid reviewers can't be choosers.

The sample was well perforated providing easy opening. The serum squished out a little haphazardly, reminding me of some rather disgusting bodily fluid but as the actual produce – as visualized on the sample card – comes in a cool dropper style bottle I will assume that actual retrieval of the serum is less anatomically eewwy.

Basically, the serum stunk. It did feel nice on my average size face and after many muscular test moves – sticking out my tongue and making 'Scream' faces – I did notice that my skin returned to its former shape, resiliently covering my skull. But overall, it smelled. Pretty bad. And that odor lasted for quite a while. Considering that this was only a miniscule amount, I would hate to think what sort of aroma would be emitted when the full size dropper topped bottle were opened.

The best thing I can say about the sample is at $19.99 for a full size bottle, I essentially received a $1 sample for the cost of my magazine. That's like the equivalent of one margarita for the cost of my **Chevy's flautas with mango sauce. That makes this a pretty good value.

I give it One Average Size, Well-Hydrated, Super Elastic, Nutria Moisturized Happy Face.

* I am emphasizing this is unpaid. However, I am not averse to being paid for my opinion. I am a creative writer. You WILL get your money's worth.

**I will give you double your money's worth for flautas, especially with mango sauce.