Hurricane Isaac has arrived. Except
that he has been demoted to a Tropical Storm. Which would explain the
steady, gentle rain we have been experiencing. With no gale force
winds or torrential rains to report on, I imagine our weathermen
have succumbed to severe Tropical Depression.
This is also the beginning of Labor Day
Weekend. For my non-United States readers that means thousands of
pounds of beef, pork and chicken will be charred beyond recognition
on grills around the nation while people drink beer, fall off of
boats and celebrate those hard workers that DO NOT have the three day
weekend off.
When I was a kid, it was also the Jerry
Lewis Holiday. We would sit around in berets, drink wine, talk with a
French accent and watch The Nutty Professor and Who's Minding the
Store. (Not really, but in retrospect that sounds like a whole lot
more fun that watching the telethon for hours on end waiting for the
Bay City Rollers to perform.) ((-Again, for you non-U.S. People, Mr
Lewis once hosted a yearly telethon for Muscular Dystrophy. It 24
hours of variety show entertainment raising huge amounts of money. We
would always cheer when the tote-board rolled over to show a dollar
amount far exceeding Mr. Lewis's hope, thus causing him to break down
in tears. It was awesome.-))
But, I digress. A tropically rainy day
begs for a shopping trip especially when it coincides with payday and
a day off. It is like a consumerism trifecta.
First stop was the wood store. There is
nothing more to say. The jokes are just too easy.
Next, we hit my favorite grocers:
*Trader Joes and *Whole Foods. I don't shop at either of these places
regularly. Our bank has put a flag on my 'fancy grocery' account.
Also, it is like an episode of SURVIVOR just to navigate the parking
lots. These stores are in an area of the city that boasts a median
age of 35-45 and a moderately comfortable income. Clearly, these
people spend most of their hard earned cash on big ass cars. For
shoppers who want only organic food, they seem to be oblivious to the
fuel comsumption of their chosen mode of transportation. Of course,
technically, gasoline IS organic...
My most exciting purchase today was
beets. Red and yellow. On returning home I promptly prepped them for
roasting. I L-U-V beet salad. I just have a difficult time spending
$9 on one when I go out. So I figured 'why not'? I am a pretty good
cook. I own knives, and an oven. I set to prepping as soon as I got
home. I was aware that red beets bleed. I was not aware that yellow
beets hate people. Probably for making their red breathern
exsanguinate. It took me forty minutes to pare those yellow bastards
into managable pieces. It was only through a bargin with God that I
managed to keep all ten fingers. Not sure how my husband will feel
our children becoming priests, especially since we are not Catholic
and one of our kids is a girl, but I feel it was a fair trade.
So what does this have to do with
Tropical Storm Isaac? I am getting to that.
As the red and yellow devils fried a
firey death...I mean while the beets roasted, I ate lunch and read an
article in the *Riverfront Times (picked up at *Whole Foods). The
story was about a wine box possessed by a Jewish spirit.
(http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2012-08-30/news/true-story-the-possession-dybbuk-box/).
And I wondered what be worse – a hurricane or a pissed off Jewish
Spirit who had been stuck in a wooden box for God (which ever one you
chose to follow) knows how long. Hurricanes cause flooding,
destruction of property and disrupt thousands of lives. Pissed off
Jewish Spirits make your house smell like cat pee and probably make
you feel really guilty for stuff.
My money is on the spirit.
So where does this bring us and what
have we learned from today's installment?
- Hurricane Isaac is suffering severe depression.
- Weathermen still hate me.
- I should probably have spent my youth doing something besides watching telethons.
- I have readers outside of the US. (Thank you Canada, United Kingdom, Germany, Russia, India and South Korea!
- *none of these people are providing paid endorsements. But they should be, I am a fabulous spokes person.
- People from Brentwood probably hate me. (oops, meant to keep that one anonymous.)
- I love beet salad.
- I believe in pissed off Jewish Spirits. (and any other spirit denomination. I am an equal-spiritual believer.)
- and lastly, I really wasn't sure what to write about today so, sorry.
Have a safe and fabulous Labor Day
Weekend. Keep your eyes peeled for Hairnets, Jewish Spirits, Rogue
Beets and people from Brentwood. (They drive like maniacs in parking
lots but otherwise I am sure they wonderful people.)
Arnold Palm Tree enjoys the rain and dreams of life on the Coast. |
Poor Jew. Stuck in a box when Mose shouted,"Let my people go!"
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