Friday, August 31, 2012

My Flight of Ideas had a Three Hour Layover.

Hurricane Isaac has arrived. Except that he has been demoted to a Tropical Storm. Which would explain the steady, gentle rain we have been experiencing. With no gale force winds or torrential rains to report on, I imagine our weathermen have succumbed to severe Tropical Depression.

This is also the beginning of Labor Day Weekend. For my non-United States readers that means thousands of pounds of beef, pork and chicken will be charred beyond recognition on grills around the nation while people drink beer, fall off of boats and celebrate those hard workers that DO NOT have the three day weekend off.

When I was a kid, it was also the Jerry Lewis Holiday. We would sit around in berets, drink wine, talk with a French accent and watch The Nutty Professor and Who's Minding the Store. (Not really, but in retrospect that sounds like a whole lot more fun that watching the telethon for hours on end waiting for the Bay City Rollers to perform.) ((-Again, for you non-U.S. People, Mr Lewis once hosted a yearly telethon for Muscular Dystrophy. It 24 hours of variety show entertainment raising huge amounts of money. We would always cheer when the tote-board rolled over to show a dollar amount far exceeding Mr. Lewis's hope, thus causing him to break down in tears. It was awesome.-))

But, I digress. A tropically rainy day begs for a shopping trip especially when it coincides with payday and a day off. It is like a consumerism trifecta.

First stop was the wood store. There is nothing more to say. The jokes are just too easy.

Next, we hit my favorite grocers: *Trader Joes and *Whole Foods. I don't shop at either of these places regularly. Our bank has put a flag on my 'fancy grocery' account. Also, it is like an episode of SURVIVOR just to navigate the parking lots. These stores are in an area of the city that boasts a median age of 35-45 and a moderately comfortable income. Clearly, these people spend most of their hard earned cash on big ass cars. For shoppers who want only organic food, they seem to be oblivious to the fuel comsumption of their chosen mode of transportation. Of course, technically, gasoline IS organic...

My most exciting purchase today was beets. Red and yellow. On returning home I promptly prepped them for roasting. I L-U-V beet salad. I just have a difficult time spending $9 on one when I go out. So I figured 'why not'? I am a pretty good cook. I own knives, and an oven. I set to prepping as soon as I got home. I was aware that red beets bleed. I was not aware that yellow beets hate people. Probably for making their red breathern exsanguinate. It took me forty minutes to pare those yellow bastards into managable pieces. It was only through a bargin with God that I managed to keep all ten fingers. Not sure how my husband will feel our children becoming priests, especially since we are not Catholic and one of our kids is a girl, but I feel it was a fair trade.

So what does this have to do with Tropical Storm Isaac? I am getting to that.

As the red and yellow devils fried a firey death...I mean while the beets roasted, I ate lunch and read an article in the *Riverfront Times (picked up at *Whole Foods). The story was about a wine box possessed by a Jewish spirit. ( And I wondered what be worse – a hurricane or a pissed off Jewish Spirit who had been stuck in a wooden box for God (which ever one you chose to follow) knows how long. Hurricanes cause flooding, destruction of property and disrupt thousands of lives. Pissed off Jewish Spirits make your house smell like cat pee and probably make you feel really guilty for stuff.

My money is on the spirit.

So where does this bring us and what have we learned from today's installment?

  1. Hurricane Isaac is suffering severe depression.
  2. Weathermen still hate me.
  3. I should probably have spent my youth doing something besides watching telethons.
  4. I have readers outside of the US. (Thank you Canada, United Kingdom, Germany, Russia, India and South Korea!
  5. *none of these people are providing paid endorsements. But they should be, I am a fabulous spokes person.
  6. People from Brentwood probably hate me. (oops, meant to keep that one anonymous.)
  7. I love beet salad.
  8. I believe in pissed off Jewish Spirits. (and any other spirit denomination. I am an equal-spiritual believer.)
  9. and lastly, I really wasn't sure what to write about today so, sorry.

Have a safe and fabulous Labor Day Weekend. Keep your eyes peeled for Hairnets, Jewish Spirits, Rogue Beets and people from Brentwood. (They drive like maniacs in parking lots but otherwise I am sure they wonderful people.)

Arnold Palm Tree enjoys the rain and dreams of life on the Coast.

1 comment:

  1. Poor Jew. Stuck in a box when Mose shouted,"Let my people go!"


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